Why I'm Bored with Citylife

"Bangkok: Among Discovery"

For 4 years, I've been commuting by van & rickshaw. And for nearly a year, by motorbike.

I've always loved vans, mainly because sliding doors that you see on minivans & cargo vans fascinate me. When I first took the public vans to get to college & back, I felt good to use a sliding door as well as getting to be frugal with my transportation costs. Taxi's are expensive, and buses are downright out of the question- they're not as safe(there have been robbing incidents with buses here) & they don't go directly to my destinations. 

Bangkok I have to admit, is a very lively city to live in. Go shopping by day and enjoy the night life at night. I don't often go downtown unless I have to. If it's not errands, then it's for photography. If I could choose anywhere I would want to regulary shoot, it would be the west coast in the US, or Monument Valley. But there's nothing like that in Thailand, so for me it's in Bangkok & the city lights. I do the best I can out of what I got.

For some reason lately, I've thought about what interests me and most can only be done in the countryside- like paragliding or RC flying. And I would love to have the freedom to choose to work & play wherever & whenever I want. Yes, it took me a while to realize of how much freedom my inner soul was wanting and all these years. Finishing college is the only way out for me, and that's the next 2 years!


When my family and I evacuated to Pattaya last October, I wasn't all to comfortable about the change of scenery. But when I was there, I loved the mornings. It felt 100% worth it to wake up at 6AM or earlier to see the sunrise and walk down the beach. I loved the fresh sea breeze smell, the wind against my face, the sinking of my feet in the soft sand whenever I did. The big city has none of those. All I get is the cramped mornings; my dad needs to go to work and I have to hitch along. I hated to not have any wind blow against my face. I wasn't 100% comfortable walking on hard cement sidewalks. And especially, I couldn't at all see the sunrise!


Okay, by now you may all think I'm whining. All right I am indeed whining, just to let steam out. None can be done now other than trying to finish and get my damned piece of paper that will satisfy companies. Let's see how financially productive I can get in this 2 year period, whenever it's a part time job or earning passive income online. If I succeed in my app-design class, I may whip up something awesome for iPad users to use. Or perhaps get a 'real' website going!


And you yourself may be in love with living in the big city. If you do, I am happy for you. If not, you can nod with me on this blog entry. Keep in mind that I don't hate the city (I love certain types of architecture that can be seen here), I'm just in a little rut; which is normal among many people around the world. Everybody needs a change once in a while, and I need one too. Do you think we're all meant to be on our feet all the time? Who knows? We've hunted animals back in the old days for our families to eat & survive. Is it our inner calling to re-connect with nature?

In retrospect, I'm okay with this city. I just need a little change. And I believe I can wait for 2 years to reach my freedom...

This book changed me!

I started reading Dale Carnegie's How to Win Friends & Influence People a few weeks back and finished it yesterday. And to confess, it really gave me a new perspective to life.

When my dad introduced this book to me 2-3 years ago, I was rather un-interested in the book. It sat collecting dust. But it was the past few weeks when I finally had the guts to pick up the book and read it. I was rather depressed at the time, so I thought the book might make me feel better. And so it did!

Just by reading the first few chapters, I started to realize why I had difficulty to make social interactions & already picked up several tips on how to 'not' criticize; or at least, criticize humanely. Also in the book, tips to be a great leader, whenever you want to take control of your own life or manage a whole business.

It's quite amazing that such simple changes you make for yourself can make a huge difference to everything. What if everyone read this book? How would the world be if everyone understood other humans? Now that would be an absolute win-win!

So okay, I may seem biased towards this book since it really changed me in just almost every way. But there are many elements that Carnegie wrote that really allows the reader to visualize the content as they read. A majority of stories from real people are mentioned; people who attended Carnegie's course and made shifts using his valuable lessons. And another plus: those lessons came from Carnegie's own life experience! And they worked!

This is also a book meant to be read over and over again. Therefore, it's best you have the real book rather than as an e-book. It's a book that's going to stick to you wherever you go. For me, I've taken this book everywhere I went, even at the dentist's while I was waiting. My self-esteem came in strong whenever I read a chapter or two and I felt better like never before.  Also, I learned to praise others. And whenever I did, I had a great feeling that emerged from inside of me as if an angel has temporarily guided me to make others feel better. And indeed, I made a great impression.

In conclusion, How to Win Friends & Influence People is a book you must read! Just get it, and you won't regret it!

Purpose

"Trench of Life"

For the past few days, one of the topics that I've googled is 'finding your passion/dharma'. Or in some cases- 'What is my purpose in this world?'. Interesting question isn't it? You're probably asking the exact same thing as you skim along the text in my blog. Maybe you're on Google too looking for answers.

Let's admit it, life has many roads to go down, many seas to sail. We're told as youngsters to pick one path and go for that. But one problem persists- are we going to like & love what we find? Is it going to let us be inspired for the rest of our lives?

I've had a habit of imagining myself doing certain things for a living; a majority of those involve things I love in life. And such include being a humanitarian pilot flying supplies & flying missionaries to hidden areas; villages far out of reach from sources. Another case, I imagined myself flying RC quadcopters for aerial surveys. I've met this guy who makes a decent living out of showing property and such with, yes- a toy helicopter! Of course, there much more, but too many to name!

So what should I even do if I can't really figure it out that clearly? Who knows since there's so many choices!

Just a few days before my 4th year of college, I knew that I wasn't in the best situation; I was behind a year to make up for a class I couldn't take yet. My mind kept urging me to drop out, to be thrown out into the real world. I never told my parents about it as I didn't want to disappoint them. I told them I was okay and I was okay with college. Then one day, I admitted to my mom that I was doubtful about my academic career and that I wanted to take a year off (gap-years are a nuisance where I come from!) to take a break and perhaps, get a job at a coffee shop. For some reason though, my mom thought I was going the right way. If I happened to switched majors, I would have to start all over again, from the beginning- as a freshman.

I knew my mom was right. Eventhough I had to take another year, I had to finish what I've started. In fact, I realized that retaking classes & extended years was normal among college students around the world.  So here I am, making up for a class I didn't pass. If I chose to drop out and work, my chances of getting back in in the future would be very bleak. They say the older you get, the harder it is to

Skip to today, I was in this class which I had one weekend assignment:  take photos of what I love, take many photos and make a slideshow to tell a story. At first, I thought this assignment was rather wonky in terms of what a teacher would give to a senior college student. And this wasn't his idea-it was used in the US. And the purpose of this experiment? To help the student to find and see what his/her purpose is. I cannot reveal mine yet as I haven't done it yet; it's Friday night and I need my sleep.

Once I wake up, I'll start snapping away, even if it's a plate of egg benedict or a macro shot of spare buttons. Who know's what comes up? I'll keep you posted!

A year behind the rest

"Sunken Sonneratia"

Being a year behind in college affected me in many ways. It had me thinking about options in life, and gave me a chance to explore other roads to travel.


During the time I was finishing high school 3 years back, I was preparing for my university courses. I was in the office of the highschool's career counselor whom gave advice to me and passed sheets and sheets of Holland's Vocational Typology surveys & several other similar so-called 'tests'. It was clear that my major would be about computers. And I intended to take the express route, to graduate in 3.5 years.



As soon as I successfully got into university, I went into the 'Digital Arts' faculty, where I learned what I needed for the rising multimedia culture. It was a rough journey as if I were allergic to schools! If things couldn't get any worse, I ended up in hospital sometime in November 2010 due to an unorthodox virus! 
The 2-3 weeks out of college set me behind, not only I struggled to get back on track, I was also hit with stress & pressure from work. I didn't feel 100% creative during that time, especially during time pressures & competition from classmates. For the first time in my college career, I had to retake a class, and had to wait a year to do so. 


My 3rd year didn't flare any better, subjects became more complicated, and I felt more pressure from competition. At this point, I started to have thoughts about dropping out & searching for alternative income sources, even trying to do freelance work online! The second term of my junior's was the time I got the chance to retake last year's class, in which I passed, with a C-. Better than nothing, but I knew that I definitely won't take it again! 



And that was the beginning of 2012. The summer vacation was meant for internships. All my classmates are assigned to take an internship for a month's time. Unfortunately, I didn't take another class(in which I'll take this year), so I'm not granted to go for an internship like my friends. And I've never known if I was lucky or not. The lucky thing is that I got to help dad with the bedroom, repainting, putting a new floor, new windows. So there you go, manual labor ftw! A nice way to get to enjoy time with dad and think about things for a while. A good excuse to escape the computer screen & the internet!


As for now, I have several daunting classes to clear up and at the same time ,my friends are sprinting to the end. My 3.5 year deal extended, meaning I still have a long way. My doubts on dropping out had to be held back as I've already made it though halfway, for now it's only up to cleaning things up and surviving it for a good 2-3 years. At least the upcoming classes are more about app design than animating cartoon in which I didn't like as much and got bored of. At least apps had templates & are more rigid in terms of creating them. If that interests me, then I'd definitely pass the course! And should I perhaps... sneak into thesis? Who knows? If I do break the rules, anything could happen! 


Thinking about it now, I figured that what I thought of being the perfect dream job, is not so after all. I've totally lost interest in the idea of working with animation & coding as a full-time career. It's freedom that I really want. I want to be able to breathe day in day out without a brick wall at my side. Working for someone else(a.k.a. getting a real job) doesn't at all appeal to me, not that I have a phobia, but it's more the sacrifice of freedom. But in many ways, I feel lucky that I didn't take a gap year since college opened me to some new ideas in life as well as the idea of working from home, making money passively. If I have skipped college, god knows where I would end up. A dead end job perhaps? Ugh!

Not everyone graduates in  4 years, some faster than others, some may need 6 or 7. But all that matters is that we get to do what we love and be happy no matter if a degree is required or not. But I feel college should be a place to find inspiration, not a place to do what you hate just for a piece of paper. Don't think about what others think about your life's choices, if they don't like it, it's their bad. 

At least, graduating in 5 years is indeed something different from the crowd!

Lonely, down, blah blah blah

There's really nothing worse than preparing for something awesome only to get it turned around out of the blue. Don't you hate that feeling too?

I learned from a video game, of 'how' to learn anything.

There are 4 basic types of learners: hearing(or auditory), visual, kinesthetic & tactual. Hearing learners learn by listening to others, visual learners learn by reading text or using images, kinesthetic learner learn by doing things, and tactual learners learn by thinking & planning.

It's not that easy to find out what type of learning style works for you. And indeed, can take time to get a firm answer. As for me, I'm a mix of all four, eventhough I'm ground up a tactual learner. Meaning that I have to "take action' just to learn something new rather than reading out of eHow.com or listening to an expert on Youtube. For example, I thought that I could just learn how to fly a remote control airplane by reading online, but I proved wrong, and crashed my toy RC plane so many times the motor started to ween down and be too weak to push the poor airplane. And mind you, that was over 5 years ago and I grounded myself. Then recently, I got the opportunity to learn from an expert instructor who set up a "buddy box" system for me(basically his radio is connected to mine so he can take control anytime). Now I fly like a master, even though getting my house back in shape after the flood is chewing up my freetime.

I managed to respect myself as a kinesthetic learner, learning by action & experience. Another example is from video games. The RC flight sim has honed my RC flying skills over time. At the moment, I'm well addicted to Worms Armageddon, and the idea is simple: earth worms shooting each other. But there's a lot of strategy involved in playing this game because you control a WHOLE team of worms. And you can't just shoot a pistol at any location, you have to watch enemy worms, use different weapons for different scenarios, and of course, planning!

When I checked out the training section in the game for the first time(after ignoring it for a while), my first practice mission was to throw grenades at three targets within one minute. If the time ran out, I would fail and have to start the stage all over again. After 2-3 go's, I passed the first stage. Then, I decided to take a break and played the single player part. And to my amazement, I found it easier to bust other worms with grenades! Something I couldn't do so well before!

So okay, that was just a video game. But how about reality? Seconds after I defeated the other worm team badly, I heard basketball bounces outside my house, my dad was playing basketball as usual. I went out to join. I stood quite well 20 feet away from the net and swooshed it. As the ball traveled according to it's trajectory, I was instantly reminded of the Worms game, when I was practicing with the grenades & targets. Basketball was the exact same thing. Practice and fail until your get it! But I knew that I had dropped my bombshell when I went out to play basket that afternoon: my learning techniques in the game can be used for real!

The method I used may not work for everyone. If it does, good. If it doesn't, there's a whole bunch of ways to improve one's learning abilities. It took many years to properly find a usable learning method for myself and that is that I have to "do something" to learn something!

So, how do YOU learn? Do you learn the same way I do?

Aspies lack imagination.. NOT!

PHOTO: "A Boy Goes Flying" by (http://kvornanthelafesta.deviantart.com/)

If you're with me in my home, expect me to dwell in the storage room, pacing around, absent-minded...

Sounds weird right? I mean, who dwells on their own, pacing? I'll ask you now: why am I doing this?

First things first, I'm pacing back and forth. Yes, that's right. IF you say that that's the only thing I'm doing..you are wrong....

My brain is also at work. Not just at work of moving my legs to pace back and forth, but also thought. Thoughts of origin. Thoughts of things that I can't reveal now. But as a hint, purely artistic thoughts.

I clearly don't get it when many say that people diagnose with Asperger's Syndrome lack imagination. Really, I don't get it. If people with AS DID lack imagination, I wouldn't be pacing around as I am doing. I was reading several threads on Wrongplanet.net about imagination, and it dawned to me that we didn't lack imagination as most say. Perhaps it's just that I don't like to expose my thoughts that much; clearly I am good at keeping personal thoughts at hand.

Have you ever counted how many ideas flow through your head per minute? I very much doubt it. And as a bulk-load of thoughts rush through my mind as I type, I've already lost count of 'stuff' going supersonic through my brain. If someone have invented a machine that reads & projects what a person is thinking, I'll bet the monitor would show nothing but blurs & flashes. And no matter if one is 'artistic' or 'corporate oriented', it will be the same result-- blurs & flashes.

Mine is blurs & flashes too! Tell me about it! I mean, seriously! How can I not have imagination if my mind is like that?! And I seem better at using my imagination when I pace around and when I'm alone. Looks like I don't need a chair in my studio after all!!

But then there's the drawback-- I can't really let out what I'm thinking. Whenever someone asks what I'm thinking, I always collapse in anxiety! I still haven't gotten down to why I have such a crazy imagination, but I always feel irked to tell others what my thoughts are. I'm still seeking ways to get over it, so far I haven't succeeded yet.

To explain in the perspective of my experience, things go on in my head, but grabbing my thoughts out into reality is just not possible. As if there are layers and layers of airport security or something (and mind you, not just pat-downs!). And it can take a lot of effort just to put up with my art homework! Maybe in some cases, one can be shy to express their thought. That's the way I am with things.

Protip? Carry a notebook! A small one with a pen or pencil. Have any thoughts? Jot it down! And be sure to put it at your bedside; who knows when your dreams could become the next bi thing for humanity? Remember, every thought is very very valuable. Whenever you have a good imagination or not, they're worth a lot. Write it down so you don't' lose them forever.

Remember when Albert Einstein said that "Imagination is greater than knowledge"?